29 days today until we leave for paradise and the stress has really started to creep in quickly. I haven't felt this much pressure since my days working at Monster. As the days tick away I feel more and more stress piled upon me to get things done.
Moving has never stressed me out before, I'm a pro at packing up and moving houses/apartments. Having to sell, throw away, donate and store ALL of your belongings is a whole different story. Every item in our house needs to be designated its final resting place, I look around and just have no idea how I'm going to get it all done. We move out of our apartment in 2 weeks today, I need about 3 of me. "One thing at a time" says my mum.......Its a good mantra to have and I am trying to tackle one thing at a time.
A lot of things have to wait to be packed up until the few last days we have in our apartment. I keep telling myself "You could pack this house up in 1 day if you had to". I have done it before and I know I will make huge headway the 3 days before we move as Merric will be down at his Nana's.
We will be staying with Eric's mom for the 2 weeks before we leave, this will give us the extra time to have a garage sale for the bulk of our smaller items and wrap up loose ends.
I still cant believe that we are headed to Bali with just clothes. I wonder if it will be strange living without the familiar things in our home that I am used to? Family photos on the wall, candle holders that are cherished gifts, sentimental vases, my favorite duvet cover that I have slept with for years (I'm considering bringing it, its one of the hardest things for me to leave behind), not to mention my collection of clothing and shoes. This is huge for me as I am very attached to my belongings. I have worked very hard for everything I have bought. I guess this will be a good exercise in the end, this is my lesson on how to let go........................
I am so overwhelmed. Breathe just breathe. It will be all over soon.
Bali
Dreamland Beach
Monday, October 4, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
My mind is over powering my heart
Its 1am and I cant sleep. As we get closer and closer to our move I am finding it harder to get to sleep. I have sleep issues as it is but its getting worse. I cant shut my mind down. I keep thinking about the 10,000 things I need to do before we leave. I am feeling very overwhelmed. It takes a lot to pick up and move your life overseas. Its not like a regular move when you can take all your belongings (and junk) from one house to another. We have to go through every drawer, every closet/cupboard, every item and every piece of paper in our house and decide throw away, donate, sell or store. I know its silly to be attached to things but I am, Im attached to things things that I have memories about and that I have had in my house for years. They are a part of my life like artwork, vases, certain mugs, my lucky bamboo, candle holders, shoes (yes shoes!) and even blankets etc etc. I have to leave all these things behind. I know I will learn to live without them and love new things but it has been difficult for me. We are going to Bali with 2 suitcases of clothes each and some of Merrics toys. That's it! Its hard for me to even write that!! I have been such a consumer/buyer/shopper my whole life. I have so much stuff!!! It does feel good to go through all of the junk and get it out of my life but it has been hard for me to see certain things go.
I also lay in bed at night and think about our new life, how things are going to work, how will Merric and Eric adapt, how I am going to juggle this new job and my son, how I will adapt to living in a foreign country, how I will manage without the support of my mother in law and grandmother in law, how will I take living in the constant heat and humidity, how I will adapt to living in a country that things don't happen quick and efficiently like they do here. All these questions and more run around in my head.
Don't get me wrong I am really excited and ready to move. This will be a life changing journey. I am ready to slow down, way down, take it easy, appreciate the small things and live closer to my family. I'm ready to work for my sister rather than make these big corporations rich of my blood sweat and tears. I guess I just didn't really realize how attached I am to my life here in someways. All my life I have moved around, I lived in 6 countries by the time I was 22, California has now been my home longer than any other country. I do feel like this is my home. I met my husband here, I have family here now that I am so attached to and my son is very attached to his nana and grannan. I keep reminding myself why we decided to make this move in the 1st place and not let normal fears crawl into my head.
I am ready for the beautiful people of Bali, the amazing culture, the best food, beautiful beaches, weekly massages, having time to read, relax and to live near my family for the first time in over 13 years.
I am taking a huge leap of faith here. I am sure this move will change who I am and will have a big impact on my life and I mean that in a good way. Its good to get out of our comfort zone, and this will be way out of mine but I am ready................well sort of, I just have that list of 10,000 things to do...........
I also lay in bed at night and think about our new life, how things are going to work, how will Merric and Eric adapt, how I am going to juggle this new job and my son, how I will adapt to living in a foreign country, how I will manage without the support of my mother in law and grandmother in law, how will I take living in the constant heat and humidity, how I will adapt to living in a country that things don't happen quick and efficiently like they do here. All these questions and more run around in my head.
Don't get me wrong I am really excited and ready to move. This will be a life changing journey. I am ready to slow down, way down, take it easy, appreciate the small things and live closer to my family. I'm ready to work for my sister rather than make these big corporations rich of my blood sweat and tears. I guess I just didn't really realize how attached I am to my life here in someways. All my life I have moved around, I lived in 6 countries by the time I was 22, California has now been my home longer than any other country. I do feel like this is my home. I met my husband here, I have family here now that I am so attached to and my son is very attached to his nana and grannan. I keep reminding myself why we decided to make this move in the 1st place and not let normal fears crawl into my head.
I am ready for the beautiful people of Bali, the amazing culture, the best food, beautiful beaches, weekly massages, having time to read, relax and to live near my family for the first time in over 13 years.
I am taking a huge leap of faith here. I am sure this move will change who I am and will have a big impact on my life and I mean that in a good way. Its good to get out of our comfort zone, and this will be way out of mine but I am ready................well sort of, I just have that list of 10,000 things to do...........
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Well...............here we go, we are really doing it!
So this first post will be a long one, I need to set the stage for what we are about to do...............
I cant believe its actually happening, we are moving to Bali, Indonesia. Eric and I have be taking about it pretty much since we met. We always talked about it like it was some type of unattainable dream. There were too many obstacles in the way............what would we do for work, how could we leave our family and friends, how could we afford to move, what we would do with all of our stuff here, could we just pick up and move to the other side of the world, how would we adjust, the questions in my mind went on and on.
I have lived all over the world, moving abroad should be nothing for me, however, I have now lived in California for 12 years, its the longest I have ever lived in 1 country my whole life. California feels like my home. On the other hand Eric has lived in Southern California his whole life, this is the only home that he has known. From the time Bali became a possible reality Eric has been 100% confident that we can not pass up this opportunity of a life time. It took a little more convincing on my end but now I am 100% ready to do this.
The hardest thing about leaving California for me is leaving my in-laws. Yes, I actually adore my in-laws. They have been there for me and my son from day one. Sheri (my mother in law) and Imo (my grandmother in-law) have helped raise my son since the day he was born. The bond that they have with Merric is like no other. It pains me to no end to think about moving him away from them, not to mention I feel like I am "taking" their son away too. They are both devastated but at the same time supportive. They know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for our family. Sheri is flying to Bali with us in Nov and both Sheri and Imo will be back to Bali to visit in Feb/March. I will live for these visits and the time we spend with them will be so precious.
Eric and I have a great set of close friends, for the first time in my life I have a small group of friends that are like family to me. As you grow older you start weed out all of the fake friends in your life, we have a circle of friends that we trust and that we have so much fun with. I am really sad to leave them. Most of them have said that will come visit us and I hope that is a reality.
So what other things will I miss??.................well first and foremost In-N-Out Burger. Yes, I said it. I do love my In-N-Out. I will miss our trips to Vegas, big movie theaters, Ugg boots and my Starbucks downstairs in my complex. What wont I miss???...............the traffic, the IRS, the US medical system, the shitty school systems, the dog eat dog nature of living here, the negativity in the news, the state of the economy, the cost of living, the list could go on.
So why Bali?? What are you going to be doing there? Many people don't know that I was born in Indonesia. My sister Chelsea has been living in Bali for over 10 years and started a luxury surf and yoga retreat for women ( www.surfgoddessretreats.com ). I have been back to Bali many times over the past 10 years. Eric went to Bali for his 16th birthday and then went back with me 2 years ago. Every time I have been there I have always said I would love to live there one day. When we were there together Eric said the same thing. I had asked my sister a few years ago if she would have a job for me and she said yes but then life went by and we didn't jump at the chance. This last time I told her we were serious about moving and I think she was hesitant because we didn't take the opportunity last time. I had some serious discussions with her and she realized we were serious and the rest I guess is history. So as far as a job goes I will be a retreat leader, I will be with all of the guests day to day making sure they are having the holiday of a lifetime. I will also be helping my sister behind the scenes with organization, planning and marketing. We have a couple of other things in the works too but I will save that for a later blog. Eric's DJ career has really taken off here in the states and the Bali nightlife is unbelievably good. He is hoping that he will be able to play in clubs and bars in Bali a few times a month. It would be great for him to have a weekly residency somewhere. Eric will also be doing some filming and editing work and he plans on organizing a monthly music event bringing in big name DJ's at some point. Merric will start at an international school in Jan 2011. I'm excited that he will be in school with so many kids from different cultures, learning different languages, have a music and sports program and the class room sizes are very small (like 15 kids). Merric will not get caught up in the California lifestyle, he wont even know what a Mercedes is, he will wear a school uniform, he will spend lots of time outdoors enjoying nature, he will appreciate other cultures and will appreciate what he has in life rather than worry about what other kids have.
We have started to sell and donate most of our things. It has been hard for me to part with materialistic things as I have worked very hard for most of the things I have. It has felt good to go through all of our junk and throw it out or donate it. Its like I can feel the load lifted off my shoulders.
We leave in 45 days!! The time is going by so quickly, its still kind of surreal, we are actually do it! I do go through a range of emotions daily......I'm excited, happy, nervous, scared, ecstatic, stressed and overwhelmed all at the same time. My dream of living in Bali is coming true. We are really doing this!
I cant believe its actually happening, we are moving to Bali, Indonesia. Eric and I have be taking about it pretty much since we met. We always talked about it like it was some type of unattainable dream. There were too many obstacles in the way............what would we do for work, how could we leave our family and friends, how could we afford to move, what we would do with all of our stuff here, could we just pick up and move to the other side of the world, how would we adjust, the questions in my mind went on and on.
I have lived all over the world, moving abroad should be nothing for me, however, I have now lived in California for 12 years, its the longest I have ever lived in 1 country my whole life. California feels like my home. On the other hand Eric has lived in Southern California his whole life, this is the only home that he has known. From the time Bali became a possible reality Eric has been 100% confident that we can not pass up this opportunity of a life time. It took a little more convincing on my end but now I am 100% ready to do this.
The hardest thing about leaving California for me is leaving my in-laws. Yes, I actually adore my in-laws. They have been there for me and my son from day one. Sheri (my mother in law) and Imo (my grandmother in-law) have helped raise my son since the day he was born. The bond that they have with Merric is like no other. It pains me to no end to think about moving him away from them, not to mention I feel like I am "taking" their son away too. They are both devastated but at the same time supportive. They know that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for our family. Sheri is flying to Bali with us in Nov and both Sheri and Imo will be back to Bali to visit in Feb/March. I will live for these visits and the time we spend with them will be so precious.
Eric and I have a great set of close friends, for the first time in my life I have a small group of friends that are like family to me. As you grow older you start weed out all of the fake friends in your life, we have a circle of friends that we trust and that we have so much fun with. I am really sad to leave them. Most of them have said that will come visit us and I hope that is a reality.
So what other things will I miss??.................well first and foremost In-N-Out Burger. Yes, I said it. I do love my In-N-Out. I will miss our trips to Vegas, big movie theaters, Ugg boots and my Starbucks downstairs in my complex. What wont I miss???...............the traffic, the IRS, the US medical system, the shitty school systems, the dog eat dog nature of living here, the negativity in the news, the state of the economy, the cost of living, the list could go on.
So why Bali?? What are you going to be doing there? Many people don't know that I was born in Indonesia. My sister Chelsea has been living in Bali for over 10 years and started a luxury surf and yoga retreat for women ( www.surfgoddessretreats.com ). I have been back to Bali many times over the past 10 years. Eric went to Bali for his 16th birthday and then went back with me 2 years ago. Every time I have been there I have always said I would love to live there one day. When we were there together Eric said the same thing. I had asked my sister a few years ago if she would have a job for me and she said yes but then life went by and we didn't jump at the chance. This last time I told her we were serious about moving and I think she was hesitant because we didn't take the opportunity last time. I had some serious discussions with her and she realized we were serious and the rest I guess is history. So as far as a job goes I will be a retreat leader, I will be with all of the guests day to day making sure they are having the holiday of a lifetime. I will also be helping my sister behind the scenes with organization, planning and marketing. We have a couple of other things in the works too but I will save that for a later blog. Eric's DJ career has really taken off here in the states and the Bali nightlife is unbelievably good. He is hoping that he will be able to play in clubs and bars in Bali a few times a month. It would be great for him to have a weekly residency somewhere. Eric will also be doing some filming and editing work and he plans on organizing a monthly music event bringing in big name DJ's at some point. Merric will start at an international school in Jan 2011. I'm excited that he will be in school with so many kids from different cultures, learning different languages, have a music and sports program and the class room sizes are very small (like 15 kids). Merric will not get caught up in the California lifestyle, he wont even know what a Mercedes is, he will wear a school uniform, he will spend lots of time outdoors enjoying nature, he will appreciate other cultures and will appreciate what he has in life rather than worry about what other kids have.
We have started to sell and donate most of our things. It has been hard for me to part with materialistic things as I have worked very hard for most of the things I have. It has felt good to go through all of our junk and throw it out or donate it. Its like I can feel the load lifted off my shoulders.
We leave in 45 days!! The time is going by so quickly, its still kind of surreal, we are actually do it! I do go through a range of emotions daily......I'm excited, happy, nervous, scared, ecstatic, stressed and overwhelmed all at the same time. My dream of living in Bali is coming true. We are really doing this!
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