Its 1am and I cant sleep. As we get closer and closer to our move I am finding it harder to get to sleep. I have sleep issues as it is but its getting worse. I cant shut my mind down. I keep thinking about the 10,000 things I need to do before we leave. I am feeling very overwhelmed. It takes a lot to pick up and move your life overseas. Its not like a regular move when you can take all your belongings (and junk) from one house to another. We have to go through every drawer, every closet/cupboard, every item and every piece of paper in our house and decide throw away, donate, sell or store. I know its silly to be attached to things but I am, Im attached to things things that I have memories about and that I have had in my house for years. They are a part of my life like artwork, vases, certain mugs, my lucky bamboo, candle holders, shoes (yes shoes!) and even blankets etc etc. I have to leave all these things behind. I know I will learn to live without them and love new things but it has been difficult for me. We are going to Bali with 2 suitcases of clothes each and some of Merrics toys. That's it! Its hard for me to even write that!! I have been such a consumer/buyer/shopper my whole life. I have so much stuff!!! It does feel good to go through all of the junk and get it out of my life but it has been hard for me to see certain things go.
I also lay in bed at night and think about our new life, how things are going to work, how will Merric and Eric adapt, how I am going to juggle this new job and my son, how I will adapt to living in a foreign country, how I will manage without the support of my mother in law and grandmother in law, how will I take living in the constant heat and humidity, how I will adapt to living in a country that things don't happen quick and efficiently like they do here. All these questions and more run around in my head.
Don't get me wrong I am really excited and ready to move. This will be a life changing journey. I am ready to slow down, way down, take it easy, appreciate the small things and live closer to my family. I'm ready to work for my sister rather than make these big corporations rich of my blood sweat and tears. I guess I just didn't really realize how attached I am to my life here in someways. All my life I have moved around, I lived in 6 countries by the time I was 22, California has now been my home longer than any other country. I do feel like this is my home. I met my husband here, I have family here now that I am so attached to and my son is very attached to his nana and grannan. I keep reminding myself why we decided to make this move in the 1st place and not let normal fears crawl into my head.
I am ready for the beautiful people of Bali, the amazing culture, the best food, beautiful beaches, weekly massages, having time to read, relax and to live near my family for the first time in over 13 years.
I am taking a huge leap of faith here. I am sure this move will change who I am and will have a big impact on my life and I mean that in a good way. Its good to get out of our comfort zone, and this will be way out of mine but I am ready................well sort of, I just have that list of 10,000 things to do...........
I've never regretted a move overseas, regardless of how long for. I always feel so alive when living in a new place: so much novelty, so many new experiences, so much to learn. I always forgot about the stuff back home stored away and when I eventually returned to it half the time I'd think 'what did I hang on to that for?'. Your priorities will change and you'll get new perspectives. Make a to do list, identify the must dos and nice to dos and if theres time items, delegate some, work your way steadily through the rest and it will all come together.
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The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.
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